working it out

I'm getting closer to unpacking the box labelled "in-progress art works". I'm working each day, every few hours, to keep my blood-sugar levels consistent: not too high, and not too low. I collect the new used Aviva strips from my new meter by AccuChek and marvel at the difference between the strips I used before, and the new ones my Grandfather and I both use. The new strips are more stout, wider, thicker, but more jewel-like and potentially more delicate. there are many possibilities I've been trying to figure out for their use in upcoming works.

Baby #2 is a healthy boy according to the very comprehensive ultrasound. We're all thrilled to add another man to the house here. The pregnancy is very mellow so far: just testing on the glucometer, and a few small oddities arise here and there. We're almost half-way there.

My students remark to me about how odd it is to have a pregnant teacher. I imagine most things are odd to a 16-year-old when your teacher has a real life outside the classroom. One said today that "Everybody" is getting pregnant at the school, "what are you guys all doing?" After a short joke about "well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much..." I reminded her that for some women it's a really big deal to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I told her that I was told that If it were possible that I'd ever conceive (due to the PCOS) that I'd probably never carry the pregnancy to full-term, I'd miscarry. My chances of having kids at that time (age 20) was almost none. It wasn't until another 8 years when I started having hypoglycemia and saw an endocrinologist that things began to change. I was trying like crazy to avoid getting Diabetes.
At 28 it was a changing landscape with PCOS, but I was also developing Diabetes at that point. I wonder if my Dr. at my age 20 had all the current information: but as I look back, he did. It's no matter now: I can sit with regret at every high-carb snack I've ever had, or continue embracing self-awareness, and nurturing myself and my family.

Ambition and Continuance

At our new-to-us home we begin wrapping up the year 2010. We're living among boxes, unfinished floors; some plywood, and the dirt and grime of however many people lived here prior to our purchase. They never cleaned, so the floors have been scrubbed many times, and my husband was kind to take out all the filthy carpets. The dirt and grime are reducing as we work on it, as are the boxes as we unpack.



We have had quite a year in our household: purchasing and moving into this house has been the latest huge adventure, but I'm also 18 weeks pregnant! The pregnancy is going great, but I did fail my Glucose Tolerance Test. I'm familiar with this territory, so I'm not terribly concerned, but it is a concrete reminder to me that Diabetes doesn't just go away. I had my A1-C numbers at about 5.2, 5.4 or so over the last two years. I've stayed on my meds, and done a fair job at managing my diet. The little creature in my belly has thrown off a few hormones: insulin being the one we're concerned with here.



I attended a program recently that pregnant women with Gestational Diabetes attend to get educated on their diet and meds: also for insulin management and supervision if necessary. The educator was awesome: especially once she found out that I was a self-aware patient, active in advocacy for the ADA, and I use my art to view Diabetes management as a process. When we talked about my art, the educator asked if I was so-and-so's daughter. She had seen my art work!



My grandfather (in his 80's now) finally crossed the line from Borderline Diabetc to Diabetic. On a long enough timeline, most people who survive into advanced age become Diabetic. He had managed his Borderline status for over 25 years without medication or testing on a a glucometer. I'm amazed at his success, and he's a role model for me. Anyway; when he attended similar classes with the same educator, he brought along images of my sculptures and paintings that use my glucometer strips as my medium. The educator was the same for us both: and she was terribly excited about my art. It was humbling to see that someone had been touched my something I made again, years after its creation, sale, and "buzz". That was a happy little prod to get back to the work.



As I unpack the boxes and set up house, I can't wait to set our 4th bedroom up as a family activity room. The floor is plywood now, and will need a resilient covering for art supplies, toys, and the traffic of moving in and out of the backyard. It's also going to double (somehow) as a dining room. I have great anticipation as I get nearer to the boxes containing in-progress art projects, some of which are sculptures incorporating my grandfathers' own glucometer strips. Now we share the same model of meter, and our test strips are the same in appearance also.



As this new little one grows, and I make my dietary adjustments to keep him or her healthy, I'll be piling up about 5 to 7 glucometer strips per day to use in the new work. I can't wait to get back to it. In the meantime, I am sketching out a few ideas. The work is evolving to resemble adornment or jewelry of sorts. There is great beauty in this fabric that is made from old blood.

My uncle Drew helped us move in and make some repairs to this very old house. I asked him if we were crazy for buying it in a moment of complete exhaustion and over-whelm. He said, "ambitious, not crazy." It seems ambitious to get back to creating more art in the middle of all that is moving and changing at home. I commented to him that I wasn't feeling much ambition (toward the house and all the 'projects') a few days after he returned home from helping us out. I got the best response I ever could have from Drew: "you'd better get ambitious."

Pick up the pencils, we're Into a new routine!

It's been almost a week that I've been in a new daily routine; my son began Kindergarten, and I have been teaching only part-time. I have been wanting to implement this change for quite a while. I'm very lucky that the opportunity arose.

I pick up my son directly after school, and we get some play/exercise time. After that it's homework or reading/drawing time. I encourage my son to draw as often as he wants to. He has probably filled as many sketch-books as I have at this point - real sketch-books, like the ones I used in college and beyond. His drawings have evolved from primitive 'mandala'-like bicycle wheels (representing people) to complex and detailed narratives of space aliens coming to Earth to destroy all the cats and make pizza out of them. Sometimes he asks me to draw with him!

I have said many times to my own students that you learn to draw before you learn to write your own name. The focus shifts in Elementary school to writing and reading. Some students claim that they don't know how to draw at all once they reach high-school. It's really too bad that the research linking drawing to better reading and writing in school isn't publicized at every pre-school. I'll include a link to some of the best case-studies in this area - the information is very interesting.

So that's a focus that I need to improve upon as an artist. I can definitely use more time getting some old works completed, and also creating drawings. I used to be good at it once I got over the "fear" of "not being able to draw". The new schedule allows for some time here and there for practice. I am taking one or two evenings each week for much needed peace and solitude. Now the hunt is on for public places to draw. Again, I'm lucky to live amidst beauty.

Links:

Dr. Susan Rich Sheridan's Marks and Mind

Making the Drawing/Literacy Connection by Judy Potter

UMich study of the relationship of Drawing, Writing, Literacy, and Math in Kindergarten Children, Steffani, Selvester

back to the keyboard

I've neglected the blog far too much lately. It's amazing how quickly time can slip right by. I am an Art Teacher, and on summer break; spending lots of time at home and around town with my 4 1/2-year-old. I have been soaking up each minute with him before he begins Kindergarten, and before the daily routine begins again, with the long commute.

I have been able to work on some of my paintings, mostly older works that were put on hold. I have some photographs of a VW repair shop in Arizona, just outside of Jerome. I took many shots while waiting for the final tune-ups on my engine rebuild. I've been able to paint a few of the shots, and more of them will be printed and signed to place up for sale. I think the light at the time the shots were taken was a little mysterious. It doesn't capture how biting-cold it was that afternoon, and how dry the air is. I'm struggling to find a way to visually express that. Living back home in California now makes it a difficult memory to capture.

The sculptures are continuing, and I have my grandfather to thank for supplying me with his strips in addition to my own! At a recent visit with my doctor, I found myself asking to set goals and deadlines for management of my blood sugars or weight. I seem to operate better with deadlines. Then again, I intended to post each Wednesday to the blog. Maybe I should get back into the routine a little early? Before school begins again, perhaps an early start to the day?

There's so many different ways I want spend my time: family, health, professional career, art, my new dog Hazel, and of course, connecting with friends! I will have to stick to the support of a routine if I am to spend my time wisely.

Mim's Rosary Project

This picture album shows images of creating the rosary I made for my Mim. It was a Mother’s Day gift to her, and it’s special for a few reasons. These are some of her favorite colors, the beads are all hand-blown (see Unicorne Beads), the metal is copper – soit’s like a postcard of when I made it: I’m using the same material in the strip sculpture. It’s very meaningful to Mim. She liked it a lot when she opened up the gift box – and I hope it will feel good on her hands if she uses it.

This was a very fast project to complete once I figured it out, and I might do something like this again in the future. It was very enjoyable to work with the donut beads, and also the yo-yo beads. Hand-blown glass is always more appealing to work with in my opinion. The variations of the beads were appealing to discover as I assembled the final product.

I found myself overwhelmed at one point, though – and put this project down for a few days. It wasn’t the project itself that was overwhelming, but I had other art projects, commitments and responsibilities at work and home, and a few other items just pending. One thing I did not like about the finished rosary if the cross: it’s crystal – I was hoping to find something in copper. I will still be on the hunt for that final bit, but the crystal cross will have to be a good place-holder.

I placed the strip sculpture on the back burner in order to complete this, and it’s been a few weeks since I’ve picked it up. As my other teaching commitments settle down (at the end of the academic year) I will be able to finish this sculpture on bloodwood, and the next on pine or maple.

images of works in progress

I've added a gallery of images to show. Please follow the LINK here to my Picasa album!

Better yet, let's embed the album here in the post:

Public Gallery

Did she really use...?

Sometimes I forget about the gross factor of my medium in this series of sculpture. People have approached my ‘Strip” sculpture, creeping in to get a closer look – then recoiling when realizing that there’s blood in the work. Yes, the strips have my blood on them. I seal the strips up with varnishes and sealants. I take precautions to avoid flaking off of the dried blood before the strips are sealed. Until they are sealed I never let anyone other than me handle them, and I have so far only worked with my own strips. Once sealed, I can drill and chain-maille the strips safely.

I think it’s a strange enough medium to address, though. Why would anybody create art with this stuff? For those unfamiliar with the testing process in people with diabetes, please allow an explanation:

I use a meter to tell me where my blood sugar levels are. The meter takes a drop of blood on a strip. There’s a light sensor in the meter that reads the concentration of sugar in my blood, and gives me a number. If the number is too high, I have to change something in my diet and exercise to get it down. If the number is too low, I eat or drink something sugary to quickly get it back up. Too much sugar shreds the cardiovascular system over time, among other things. Too low of a sugar drop could be an emergency. When the test is done and I have my number, I have a used strip with my blood on it. The blood dries and is embedded into the fabric in the strip. It’s a snapshot. Over time, and when I test frequently, the strips add up.

In a sculpture class for my undergrad one project I was assigned was to “make something beautiful out of something ugly.” I had a few hundred of these used strips that I didn’t know how to dispose of. They were fascinating to me because they told a story of my status as a patient at that moment in time. A snapshot. An ugly snapshot. I didn’t want to test. I hated the process, and I hated having endocrine issues. In using these to create something beautiful, the process was cathartic and helped to change my own attitude about living with diabetes. The process of regular testing allowed me to stay out of a hospital when I didn't have health insurance. It also helped me to get pregnant and carry my healthy son to full term = something I was told would never happen because of my PCOS. This restraint actually turned in to a support. I made something beautiful out of something ugly.

Paying back

All my sales and gains from creating works out of my glucometer strips have supported my donations to the American Diabetes Association. I have received so much help from their information and resources. The website was a great comfort when I needed information, and what they post has always been reliable information.

I found my Endocrinologist through them, and many, many resources that have helped me manage my health.

In return, I am happy to donate (as I always have) 10 % of my sales to the ADA. I am really motivated to get a few works finished so I can send in another donation. Please visit their link and investigate the site.

Visit to Bowers!

Bowers Museum in Santa Ana recently hosted the Bead Society of Orange County. It was a great event with a lot of very skilled artists and vendors. I was very impressed with Unicorne Beads from Placentia, and also with Lori Mendenhall's work. Overall everyone's work was fun to observe and handle, but these two vendors really stood out. They helped me look around for more copper rings, and inspired a few more ideas to incorporate in my own works (without ripping them off). Their customer service skills were superb!

I do miss the collaboration of being around my artist friends more often. We all seemed to motivate and inspire one another quite a bit. I got a little of that familiarity when speaking with Ms. Mendenhall, and Jon from Unicorne Beads.

While I didn't find any copper jump rings or supplies, I did get in contact with a few online chain-maille sites. I am a bit frustrated in translating the size specs from where I bought previously to the professional chain-maille supply sites. It's just one of those things you need to see, touch, and feel before ordering.

The visit was enjoyable as always, and I purchased some supplies to custom-bead a rosary for my grandmother. This will be one killer of a project, but I hope she will like it for a Mother's Day present. When her son, Dan, passed two years ago, she gave me the rosary her Godmother gave to her for the services. I have had it almost every day since, and used it again at another son's funeral (Matt) this year. I want to make a special one for her in return. I have her favorite colors picked out, really nice donut beads from Unicorne. I think the donut shape will feel good rolling around in her fingers - no sharp corners for her finger bones. I'll incorporate the yo-yo beads also, and wire it up in copper. We'll ask her favorite priest to bless it - but that means I'd better get to it! Mother's Day is quickly approaching. Pics to arrive soon.

out of 4mm rings

I have exhausted my current supply of 4mm copper jump rings. I will check with various vendors, and try out a new one in Urban Maille. Their rings looks so beautiful!

I'm at a point of some frustration right now: I have much of a 'fabric' created to mount on a beautiful wooden panel. The work is almost done if I continue it as-is. It's a little bit boring to me, though - I want to know more techniques of chain-maille and incorporate something with a bit more skill and beauty.

The lack of supplies have kept me from working too fast on the sculpture. It's been a blessing: I can revision it before completing the work and mounting it. I also have been inspired for the modifications I'd like to try on other panels. We'll see where it goes!

Slideshow from Slideroll

Trying to import images to blogger, but no success yet. Let's try a slideshow from the slideroll site:

Create a Free Slideshow

Back to work!

It's been great to return with seriousness to creating a few bodies of work. I'm exploring a familiar concept in sculpture, by connecting my used (and sealed) glucometer strips into a chain-maille like fabric.
My first real success with this process is listed to the side. It began as a project in my undergrad sculpture class. The assignment was to create something beautiful out of something ugly. I was new to being a diabetic, and testing my glucose a few times a day. Without health insurance at that time, I was really vigilant in finding the balance that my body worked with. At first it was such a hardship; I truly hated to test. Later, I realized that I could begin to predict and plan for sugar highs and lows. The restraints and pains of testing were helping me to avoid an emergency, or costly hospital visit.
With the encouragement from the professor, Doug, and his assistant, Jocelyn, I continued on with the piece long after the assignment was due. It was accepted into the juried show at the UAM, CSULB. I received a scholarship from the Fine Arts Affiliates at CSULB, and later as I asked Accu-Chek's parent company (Roche Diagnostics) for permission to continue the work, I ended up selling my first big success to them. The same company that manufactures the strips and meters, helps me to keep my diabetes in check, now keeps my sculpture on display in Indianapolis. What an honor!