I'm getting closer to unpacking the box labelled "in-progress art works". I'm working each day, every few hours, to keep my blood-sugar levels consistent: not too high, and not too low. I collect the new used Aviva strips from my new meter by AccuChek and marvel at the difference between the strips I used before, and the new ones my Grandfather and I both use. The new strips are more stout, wider, thicker, but more jewel-like and potentially more delicate. there are many possibilities I've been trying to figure out for their use in upcoming works.
Baby #2 is a healthy boy according to the very comprehensive ultrasound. We're all thrilled to add another man to the house here. The pregnancy is very mellow so far: just testing on the glucometer, and a few small oddities arise here and there. We're almost half-way there.
My students remark to me about how odd it is to have a pregnant teacher. I imagine most things are odd to a 16-year-old when your teacher has a real life outside the classroom. One said today that "Everybody" is getting pregnant at the school, "what are you guys all doing?" After a short joke about "well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much..." I reminded her that for some women it's a really big deal to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I told her that I was told that If it were possible that I'd ever conceive (due to the PCOS) that I'd probably never carry the pregnancy to full-term, I'd miscarry. My chances of having kids at that time (age 20) was almost none. It wasn't until another 8 years when I started having hypoglycemia and saw an endocrinologist that things began to change. I was trying like crazy to avoid getting Diabetes.
At 28 it was a changing landscape with PCOS, but I was also developing Diabetes at that point. I wonder if my Dr. at my age 20 had all the current information: but as I look back, he did. It's no matter now: I can sit with regret at every high-carb snack I've ever had, or continue embracing self-awareness, and nurturing myself and my family.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Ambition and Continuance
At our new-to-us home we begin wrapping up the year 2010. We're living among boxes, unfinished floors; some plywood, and the dirt and grime of however many people lived here prior to our purchase. They never cleaned, so the floors have been scrubbed many times, and my husband was kind to take out all the filthy carpets. The dirt and grime are reducing as we work on it, as are the boxes as we unpack.
We have had quite a year in our household: purchasing and moving into this house has been the latest huge adventure, but I'm also 18 weeks pregnant! The pregnancy is going great, but I did fail my Glucose Tolerance Test. I'm familiar with this territory, so I'm not terribly concerned, but it is a concrete reminder to me that Diabetes doesn't just go away. I had my A1-C numbers at about 5.2, 5.4 or so over the last two years. I've stayed on my meds, and done a fair job at managing my diet. The little creature in my belly has thrown off a few hormones: insulin being the one we're concerned with here.
I attended a program recently that pregnant women with Gestational Diabetes attend to get educated on their diet and meds: also for insulin management and supervision if necessary. The educator was awesome: especially once she found out that I was a self-aware patient, active in advocacy for the ADA, and I use my art to view Diabetes management as a process. When we talked about my art, the educator asked if I was so-and-so's daughter. She had seen my art work!
My grandfather (in his 80's now) finally crossed the line from Borderline Diabetc to Diabetic. On a long enough timeline, most people who survive into advanced age become Diabetic. He had managed his Borderline status for over 25 years without medication or testing on a a glucometer. I'm amazed at his success, and he's a role model for me. Anyway; when he attended similar classes with the same educator, he brought along images of my sculptures and paintings that use my glucometer strips as my medium. The educator was the same for us both: and she was terribly excited about my art. It was humbling to see that someone had been touched my something I made again, years after its creation, sale, and "buzz". That was a happy little prod to get back to the work.
As I unpack the boxes and set up house, I can't wait to set our 4th bedroom up as a family activity room. The floor is plywood now, and will need a resilient covering for art supplies, toys, and the traffic of moving in and out of the backyard. It's also going to double (somehow) as a dining room. I have great anticipation as I get nearer to the boxes containing in-progress art projects, some of which are sculptures incorporating my grandfathers' own glucometer strips. Now we share the same model of meter, and our test strips are the same in appearance also.
As this new little one grows, and I make my dietary adjustments to keep him or her healthy, I'll be piling up about 5 to 7 glucometer strips per day to use in the new work. I can't wait to get back to it. In the meantime, I am sketching out a few ideas. The work is evolving to resemble adornment or jewelry of sorts. There is great beauty in this fabric that is made from old blood.
My uncle Drew helped us move in and make some repairs to this very old house. I asked him if we were crazy for buying it in a moment of complete exhaustion and over-whelm. He said, "ambitious, not crazy." It seems ambitious to get back to creating more art in the middle of all that is moving and changing at home. I commented to him that I wasn't feeling much ambition (toward the house and all the 'projects') a few days after he returned home from helping us out. I got the best response I ever could have from Drew: "you'd better get ambitious."
We have had quite a year in our household: purchasing and moving into this house has been the latest huge adventure, but I'm also 18 weeks pregnant! The pregnancy is going great, but I did fail my Glucose Tolerance Test. I'm familiar with this territory, so I'm not terribly concerned, but it is a concrete reminder to me that Diabetes doesn't just go away. I had my A1-C numbers at about 5.2, 5.4 or so over the last two years. I've stayed on my meds, and done a fair job at managing my diet. The little creature in my belly has thrown off a few hormones: insulin being the one we're concerned with here.
I attended a program recently that pregnant women with Gestational Diabetes attend to get educated on their diet and meds: also for insulin management and supervision if necessary. The educator was awesome: especially once she found out that I was a self-aware patient, active in advocacy for the ADA, and I use my art to view Diabetes management as a process. When we talked about my art, the educator asked if I was so-and-so's daughter. She had seen my art work!
My grandfather (in his 80's now) finally crossed the line from Borderline Diabetc to Diabetic. On a long enough timeline, most people who survive into advanced age become Diabetic. He had managed his Borderline status for over 25 years without medication or testing on a a glucometer. I'm amazed at his success, and he's a role model for me. Anyway; when he attended similar classes with the same educator, he brought along images of my sculptures and paintings that use my glucometer strips as my medium. The educator was the same for us both: and she was terribly excited about my art. It was humbling to see that someone had been touched my something I made again, years after its creation, sale, and "buzz". That was a happy little prod to get back to the work.
As I unpack the boxes and set up house, I can't wait to set our 4th bedroom up as a family activity room. The floor is plywood now, and will need a resilient covering for art supplies, toys, and the traffic of moving in and out of the backyard. It's also going to double (somehow) as a dining room. I have great anticipation as I get nearer to the boxes containing in-progress art projects, some of which are sculptures incorporating my grandfathers' own glucometer strips. Now we share the same model of meter, and our test strips are the same in appearance also.
As this new little one grows, and I make my dietary adjustments to keep him or her healthy, I'll be piling up about 5 to 7 glucometer strips per day to use in the new work. I can't wait to get back to it. In the meantime, I am sketching out a few ideas. The work is evolving to resemble adornment or jewelry of sorts. There is great beauty in this fabric that is made from old blood.
My uncle Drew helped us move in and make some repairs to this very old house. I asked him if we were crazy for buying it in a moment of complete exhaustion and over-whelm. He said, "ambitious, not crazy." It seems ambitious to get back to creating more art in the middle of all that is moving and changing at home. I commented to him that I wasn't feeling much ambition (toward the house and all the 'projects') a few days after he returned home from helping us out. I got the best response I ever could have from Drew: "you'd better get ambitious."
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